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Weirdest Show on Earth
Monday, 30 November -0001
Posted On 2018-01-12 10:22:05 |  Last Update 2018-01-12 10:22:05 |  Read 787 times | 0 Comments

The latest instalment of Beaky Malone’s madcap truth telling tales takes place during the one place of guaranteed embarrassment, the school show. On the blog today we have author Barry Hutchison sharing his hunt for a special talent, and illustrator Katie Abey, who has perfected her own remarkable skill in all environments.


Beaky still can’t tell a lie and life isn’t getting any easier. When he somehow manages to land a lead part in the school play, Romeo and Juliet … but with Aliens, Beaky is put in the spotlight. Playing Romeo to Evie’s Juliet makes his crush on her even harder to disguise. And now Beaky’s old lying ways are coming back to haunt him – his dog Destructo has been chosen to appear on TV’s Most Talented Pets because he can ride a bike. Only problem is … he can’t.

As everything starts to unravel and Madame Shirley, the culprit for Beaky's truth-telling condition, is nowhere to be found, Beaky is faced with some difficult decisions. Maybe just telling the truth about a few things wouldn't be so bad…

 
Beaky Malone: Weirdest Show on Earth is out now!

Barry Hutchison's Talent Hunt

I've always been someone who liked the idea of having a talent, rather than someone who actually possesses any. I was always first to volunteer for the school talent show, usually writing "To be confirmed" in the "What is your talent?" box on the sign-up form. I'm incredibly lazy, so would usually only decide what I'd be doing at the very last minute, and invest zero time practising, assuming it'd be alright on the night.

It rarely, if ever, was.

From my piano performance of John Lennon's Imagine where I realised, at the same time as the audience, that I could only play the opening three bars, to my one-man "Skateboard Stunt Show" which ended with the skateboard shooting out from under my feet and rocketing into the audience as I landed heavily, bum-first, on the stage, each show was a showcase for my utter lack of talent, skill, or sense of balance.

My Phantom of the Opera montage brought one young girl to tears, although not in the way it was supposed to. My stand-up comedy routine was met with stony silence (and also earned me a full week's detention). Still, I persisted, convinced some long-dormant talent would eventually be awoken during one of my performances. The crowd would go wild. They'd probably throw flowers. Grown men would weep with joy and awe. The teachers would give me the rest of the year off. It would be epic.

At the next show, I attempted to solve a Rubik's Cube in under 30 seconds. 25 years later, I still haven't finished it.

I didn't appear in the final talent show of my school career, and wrote the script for the host, instead. It was my most successful contribution by a long way and made me realise that maybe I did have one talent, after all.

Illustrator Katie Abey says her weird talent is being able to fall asleep instantly whenever and pretty much wherever.

“I’m pretty sure I am part cat.”


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