An interview with Guy Bass.... by Guy Bass!
Monday, 30 November -0001
Posted On 2013-07-01 15:16:47 |  Last Update 2013-07-02 15:44:05 |  Read 7545 times | 0 Comments

38-year old Guy Bass is interviewed by 8-year old Guy Bass about his childhood fears and his new book, Stitch Head: The Spider’s Lair.

Guy (38): Hello, tiny me! Nice haircut. So, what would you like to know about my books? Ask me a question. Anything at all.

Guy (8): I thought you’d be taller.

38: What?

8: I mean, I thought I’d be taller.

38: That’s not a question. This is an interview. You’re meant to be interviewing me.

8: Okay, I have a question.

38: Great! Ask away.

8: How come you’re not taller?

38: … About books. You’re meant to be asking me about books.

8: Why?

38: Because that’s what I do. I write books.

8: So you’re not a superhero?

38: No, I’m not a superhero.

8: Poo. Are you a spy?

38: … I’m not a spy.

8: Or a space adventurer or a monster hunter or a robot maker or a rocket-pack tester or a dinosaur salesman?

38: No, sorry … but I could write books about all of those things!

8: That’s not the same thing. At all.

38: Look, are you going to interview me or not? I mean, am I keeping you from something important?

8: I was going to spend the day playing with my toys.

39: Me too! Not that I still collect ... I mean … never mind. Back to the interview.

8: What books have you written? Have any of them been turned into cartoons or films?

38: Well, no, but that’s not the only measure of success, you know…

8: So do you live in a mansion?

38: No. I live in a flat.

8: Is the flat in outer space?

38: No! Look, we’re getting off the point. We’re supposed to be talking about my books, so let’s do that.

8: Okay.

38: Okay. My latest book is the fourth in the Stitch Head series - all about a mad professor's first creation.

8: Is Stitch Head a monster?

38: Uh, sort of...

8: Has he got fangs and claws and fire breath and laser beam eyes and the power of a million volcanoes?

38: No, actually, he's small and shy and weak ... But he's very, very brave.

8: So he couldn't even beat up Superman?

38: Why would he beat up Superman? They don’t even— Never mind. But the Mad Professor’s home, Castle Grotteskew, is bursting with monsters – each more hideous and terrifying than the last.

8: Now we're talking...

38: It's up to Stitch Head - together with his friends the Creature, Ivo and Arabella - to cure the monsters of their monstrousness and maintain the uneasy peace in Castle Grotteskew.

8: Are there monsters in the new book?

38: I'm glad you asked - eventually. Yes there are! We’re getting somewhere at last. So, it’s called … The Spider's Lair. When Stitch Head's friend, Arabella is taken to the mysterious Otherways orphanage, our hero must set off on a rescue mission. But he soon discovers that Otherways is hiding a sinister secret. Stitch Head must face a fearsome new foe - and one that you're bound to find terrifying. You see, I thought it was time I finally faced my fear of spiders head on, so I created a villain of alarmingly arachnophobic proportions – a mysterious, monstrous spider.

8: Wait, you're still scared of spiders?

38: Terrified. Even writing this book gave me nightmares … Don’t look at me like that! You're scared of them too, you know. You remember all those times you saw one and ran screaming for Mum?

8: Yes but I'm a child. You’re 38. You’re old.

38: But spiders are… they're horrible! With their beady little eyes and their hairy bodies and those legs! Those awful, spindly, scuttling legs … scuttling! Always scuttling! They’re coming … they’re after me! Get Mum, quick! AaAAaaH!

8: This isn’t quite how I saw my life turning out.

38: Spiders! Spiders, in every nook and cranny! Watching me from the shadows! Nowhere is safe! Run, tiny me! RUN!
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